Fair fa’ your honest, sonsie face

We didn’t argue with that sentiment last year, and everyone had such a good time that we’re doing it again.

If you have yet to be convinced of haggis’s virtues (or even if you have been), roll up on Tuesday evening for a treat of said puddin’, with its traditional embellishments of bashed neeps, mashed spuds, and whatever trimmings we can muster. There will even be a dram in it for those keen on the true Caledonian experience, along with the joyful skirl provided by our in-house piper and traditional poetry read in excruciatingly inaccurate Scottish accents.

Please note that, due to government restrictions, we will be using only left-handed specimens, humanely caught by burly, kilted highlanders using extra strong butterfly nets.

But

(I hear you ask)

what’s my part in all this magnificence?

Well, there are a few things you should be aware of . . . .

1. In the interests of simplicity and getting home before dawn, we’re not washing up! Bring your own plate, glass and cutlery, and take them home at the end of the evening.

2. Drink provided is limited to Scotch and Highland Water for the toasts – in addition, of course, to the regular tea & coffee service graciously provided by Olga. If your tastes veer in other directions, please feel free to bring your own choice of tipple.

3. For the furtherance of jollity and the spirit of the evening, any vaguely Scottish apparel is encouraged. If you can’t stretch to a kilt, how about tartan socks or a Hamilton Accies away strip?

And a special request: if you’re coming along and you’re of a vegetarian persuasion, please let Ken know quickly so that your needs can be accommodated.

Looking forward to that haggis already. No, don’t ask me what’s in it!

(I know, all shamelessly pasted in from last year’s email. Life’s too short . . . )